Apathy Sketchpad

According to Chortle,

Peter Kay is to release a follow-up to his bestselling memoirs The Sound Of Laughter this autumn.

What?

His existing book, which I have not read, is 368 pages long in paperback and was released on the 2nd of October 2006. The new one will be out in time for Christmas. That means that the book can detail, at most, 1179 days (assuming the books take an equal amount of time between writing and release). On average, there will be about 3.23 days per page (or, 31% of a page per day). That’s only slightly less than my work diary and I can never fill that. This book is going to read like a Twitter feed, especially when you bear in mind how much of that time must have been spent writing the damn book.

I’m sorry, but has enough genuinely interesting stuff happened to him in the last two years to fill that much book? I submit that it hasn’t. In fact, I confidently predict that Peter Kay’s second book is going to be basically all the same material as his first book, but with a couple of words changed here and there to make it sound like a whole new work.