The Swine Flu Joke Grid
May 1st, 2009Here is a useful table to aid your satirical endeavours. Just pick your topic and your aspect of pigginess, and look up the appropriate dismal pun.
| Pigs Etc. | Bacon | Ham | Pork | Pig Anatomy | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Pandemic | Sow-tbreak | Frying Pan-demic | Hamdemic; Conthamination | Infec-chop | Snoutbreak |
| End of The World | Farmergeddon | Judgement Bay-con | Parmageddon | Aporkalypse | Atrotterlypse |
| Mass Death | Swine Eleven | Hi-Rasher-ma | Hamocaust | We’re All For The Chop! | Trotterclysm |
| Existing Diseases | Mad Sow Disease; Gloucester Old Spots | I’ve Come Out In A Rasher | Hamthrax; Brain Hamorrhage | Chicken Porks | Athlete’s Trotter |
I feel good that I can contribute so much to this situation, with the unwitting help of everyone on Twitter. I forget exactly who, but since it’s pig/disease puns, it seems reasonable to blame @bengoldacre, @krypto, @ArianeSherine and whichever lunatic that started #NameThatFlu hashtag.
Tags for this article: Swine Flu
[?]
Type in a relevant tag, and click the button, and help organize this blog's information.
[More Help]
[More Help]
May 1st, 2009 at 23:03
A fine compendium. Sadly I can’t take credit for any of those, but whoever thought of Hi-Rasher-ma either deserves a medal or banishment – I can’t decide which.
May 1st, 2009 at 23:05
Oh… only that was one of mine.
May 1st, 2009 at 23:17
I banish you to India for a bit.
May 1st, 2009 at 23:57
I think you forgot “epigdemic”.
May 2nd, 2009 at 08:11
How about “rubbish”: I don`t think it has been established that it had anything to do with pigs at all yet!
May 2nd, 2009 at 09:59
Everyone does seem quite upset about the name. Calling it “Mexican Flu” is offensive apparently, even though ‘German Measles’ is fine and it originated in Mexico, and Israel don’t want us to call it “Swine Flu” because pigs aren’t kosher, which frankly I think says more about religion than anything else: time was that kosher/halal rules were (moderately) sensible guesses at a sound hygiene policy, but when that stopped being true they didn’t abandon them but quietly convert them into some bizarre ‘pigs are bad, mmmkay’ rule. It seems to me that if they’ve been saying all these years with no particular justification that pigs are ‘unclean’ then having a deadly pandemic named after them would be quite a coup. Although not a chicken-coup, because that’s bird flu.
I think Obama had the right idea when he called it H1N1. I wonder what other animal flus there are. Maybe H3N1 is trout flu, but nobody’s ever managed to catch it.
May 3rd, 2009 at 21:03
I stole your idea. Thanks.
http://solo1y.livejournal.com/46818.html?mode=reply
May 3rd, 2009 at 22:31
Hah, I like “sowmanella” and “hog warts”.
I didn’t Google it first. I hope nobody else beat me to it.
I heard a great line today: “I called the swine flu helpline, but all I got was crackling”. I feel sure there’s a ’scratching’ joke somewhere but I can’t make it work.
May 3rd, 2009 at 22:43
This is becoming “boaring”.
May 5th, 2009 at 18:59
The poor pigs are probably sick and not feeling well and we are poking fun at them! And it’s not even like they stayed up late at night trying to make a plan to hurt people. Pigs can’t control their cells just like people.
I drew pictures since pictures are easy to understand. They are here http://www.cozymisery.com/?p=200 and you can see how the pigs didn’t do it on purpose.
August 26th, 2009 at 18:52
Is there a joke grid for birds? The “boaring” is cracking me up the most for some reason, lol.