Apathy Sketchpad

Always remember to wrap on a t-shirt, splat on some suncream, and wear a hat.

1. The metre is rubbish. Two words are at the start of the phrase, and one is at the end. It doesn’t scan at all, because…
2. Hat is a noun. The other words are verbs, and…
3. ‘Splat’ is the wrong verb. Still, at least ’splat’ rhymes. After all…
4. ‘Wrap’ doesn’t rhyme with ’splat’ or ‘hat’. Essentially, the connection between these words is that they all have an ‘a’ in them. If it was “wrap, slap, cap”, that would rhyme and include a verb that more accurately portrays the application of suncream. But it isn’t. And even then…
5. ‘Wrap’ shouldn’t be in there at all. I don’t know who came up with this campaign, but I must assume it was someone who has never seen someone put on a t-shirt. You don’t wrap them. You can, if they’re massive t-shirts, but you won’t end up through any of the right holes. I’m not really sure what could be done about this, because “cover, smother, beaver” isn’t catchy or clear. Of course, they could always abandon the whole idea of using three similar-sounding words and do something that works.

There shouldn’t be five errors in what is essentially a three word campaign.