Apathy Sketchpad

Way back in July 2005, I commented on a story where a 15-year-old sued the police for forcing him to stay out of the town centre because other people of a similar age had committed crimes. He won the case, quite rightly. So why have I just heard about this equally brazen and rather scarier evil?

This thing is, apparently, called the Mosquito (which is a very apt name considering how people who use it are treating people), and it’s a little box you bolt to your shop and, its thoroughly awful developers claim, “is the solution to the eternal problem of unwanted gatherings of youths and teenagers in shopping malls, around shops and anywhere else they are causing problems”. It works — and I still can’t believe someone actually fucking did this — by emitting the same high pitched whine as a television only much louder. Anyone over the age of about 25 can’t hear it because it’s ultrasonic to them. Young people have better high-frequency hearing and they say the noise is “distressing” and “unbearable”. Basically this is the same thing you’d use if you have a problem with urban foxes. This is treating young people — in fact, no, let’s not be vague about this. I’m 24, so this is treating me like vermin. Like some problematic animal to be repelled by whatever means necessary. They’ll be leaving little bottles of poisoned white lightning around next to kill us all off. And they’re doing it for no better reason than because other people of a similar age look a bit menacing. And the parallel with the previous case is clear: if it was any other minority group being targeted, nobody would stand for it for a second. This is the kind of scary, discriminatory use of science that was all the rage in the nineteenth century but really people should know better than by now.

Needless to say, Liberty (who in my experience always know what’s what) want to get rid of the things. They think that it

…is not a proportionate response to loiterers and could adversely affect young people. We believe that the Mosquito does not encourage young people to act responsibly instead simply presuming that they will not.

…

It could be argued that the Mosquito device constitutes a disproportionate interference with Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR) - the right to respect for private life, which includes the right to respect for bodily integrity [and] this interference with Article 8 rights is discriminatory because it only affects young people, and Article 14 prohibits discrimination.

…

We believe that the Mosquito could be successfully challenged in the courts, which should put an end to its use. Unfortunately we are still looking for the right young person’s case to represent in such a challenge. Please get in contact with us if you or anyone you know know has been affected by a Mosquito device.

The Children’s Commissioner takes a similar view, and the BBC say “work towards a ban on the use of Mosquito devices in Scotland has been under way since last year”. The manufacturers have also scooped the Ig Nobel Peace Prize for 2006. There is a campaign to ban it, called “Buzz Off”. (That may not be quite the correct link but the campaign does not seem to have a website.) And yet according to the BBC,

There are no plans in England to ban the use of devices which emit a high-pitched sound to disperse groups of teenagers, the government has said. But it stressed the Mosquito devices, which can cause discomfort to youngsters’ ears, should be “a last resort” against anti-social behaviour.

But? But!? That sentence is no place for the word “but”! A better phrase would be “worse still”. They may think I’ll be placated by the fact that they consider it useful only as a last resort (we already know the government has some pretty bizarre ideas about what will placate me when they’ve angered me), but in fact I’m further angered by the fact they’ve publicly endorsed it!

Mosquito alarms’ are not banned and the government has no plans to do so.

Obviously no-one would want to have to use a device like this, and it should very much be seen as a last resort.

We will continue to tackle the underlying problems through better neighbourhood policing, giving young people alternative things to do in their spare time and, where necessary, using the powers we have put in place to prevent anti-social behaviour.

Oh, so now until the underlying problems are tackled we’re allowed to use extreme measure with no regard for human ri— Ah, that explains everything. Well I don’t think any reasonable person would agree that that’s the right attitude to take.

Personally, I think the best solution would be to find the shops that are using this device, turn up in large groups, and then when they turn on the device, take out large, battery-powered stereos and play irritating chart music loud enough that the sound of the Mosquito goes away. The advantage of this plan is that with the right choice of song it would be only people over 25 who got significantly annoyed. I’m wondering about Mika, although I worry that older Queen fans might enjoy that.

It works, by the way: I’m 24 and I certainly won’t be going near any shops that use them. Of course, I’ve never caused any trouble in my life and in face tend to spend money in shops, which I believe is what the shops want, but then, I would assume if that’s what they wanted they’d be more careful about who they repel with ultrasonic weaponry.