Apathy Sketchpad

The way I see it, there are two ways to do this. The first is more scientific, but I’m less certian it would work.

My theory is that you could run experiments with some kind of toxin. Start off wth a concentrated solution, give it to someone, then measure how ill they get against a placebo control group. Then dilute the mixture to 75% and repeat. Dilute again a couple of times, say to 50% and 25% and repeat each time. Then plot the response against the dose.

My theory is that you’ll get a graph that looks, on some set of axes and units at least, like this:

This is because, as we all know, the body can deal with a small amount of toxin with no ill effects. Then we extrapolate, as shown:

It is now clear to see that using a dose of zero will cause a negative amount of illness — i.e., will make the patient better.

My second theory on how to prove homeopathy works is to run a study in a peer-reviewed journal. The trick is that homeopathists are not scientists; they are idiots. Therefore a truly peer-reviewed homeopathy journal would be reviewed by other idiots. And the paper would get through.