Apathy Sketchpad

Nobody believes me when I tell them this. I don’t know why; maybe they don’t read the news. But they don’t.

The Royal Mint has asked the public for ideas for their new range of coins. The reverse side (tails) of all British coins will be changed and there is an open competition to decide the new designs. So I thought I’d have a go.

coins/mog50p.png

My first thought was to put The Holy Mog on a coin.After that, I decided that that was maybe a little limiting and boring, so I came up with a full range of coins:

coins/1p.png

According to The Times, chef Marco Pierre White’s suggestion is that the coins should “revert to some of the traditional images used to decorate coins before decimalisation: the thistle, the lion, or Britannia, bearing a sceptre and shield”. Which is, of course, the very images on the 5, 10 and 50 pence pieces already. Idiot.

coins/2p.png

According to The Times, sculptor Antony Gormley’s suggestion is that the coins should be “certainly not round, and preferably not symmetrical”. Nice plan. Let me know how you get on building a vending machine mechanism to take asymmetrical coinage. Idiot.

coins/5p.png

I am sure this could reduce crime somehow. Except perhaps fraud. (”No, really, I’d like to buy this house in five pence pieces.”)

coins/11p.png

coins/20p.png

This would also help people store 20p pieces, on a small pole in your car, say. You would have to be sure to add the coins with the hole-side facing the pole, however.

coins/50p.png

People will object to this, but they will get used to it, or else they can carry around four eleven pence pieces, a five pence piece, and a penny.

coins/pound.png

coins/2pound.png

The Pint is already the de facto currency of all students. This bold move would unify the nation.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 19th, 2005 at 00:00 and is filed under Doodles And Cartoons. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

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Paul Says:
April 3rd, 2008 at 16:27
The winner has been revealed! Sadly some ‘Matthew Dent’ beat you, but I reckon the new coins are quite nice. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7328107.stm
Andrew Says:
April 3rd, 2008 at 16:40
Yes, I like them, whatever Philip Nathan, sculptor and numismatic designer, responsible for numerous commemorative British coins and the general coinage of Barbados, among others, has to say. Not as good as mine, obviously, but not a bad effort. Also I notice that you’ve moved to Aberdeen.

Also, I think people should shut up about the lack of numbers. I think it’s important the coins state their value somewhere, but I don’t think anyone ever really looks that. You look at size, shape and colour. The coins could be blank for all it would affect anyone. I mean, if you’re going to be like that about it, surely they should get rid of the design and replace it with Braille numbers? (Actually, that might look fairly good. Which would be kind of ironic.)
SupSuper Says:
April 3rd, 2008 at 21:34
I look at coin numbers because I’m rubbish at figuring out their size.
Matty Says:
April 4th, 2008 at 00:03
I’d hate to be behind you in a queue at a till.
Smiffy Says:
April 11th, 2008 at 15:46
A few years ago I actually tried to patent the idea of advertising on money (really) but was told by the patent lawyer that it was “precluded under section 2 of the patents act” whatever the fuck that means.
Andrew Says:
April 11th, 2008 at 16:12
I’ve just realised there’s no link on this page to the followup emails:

http://www.apathysketchpad.com/blog/2005/12/23/chat-newcoins/

Some people take their jobs too seriously, I think.
heather Says:
April 13th, 2008 at 20:46
Your coins would be much more useful and better looking than the new ones.