Apathy Sketchpad

I know the Internet is the natural home of those who have been cast out of regular society, as well as those who voluntarily choose to ignore it. Despite this, the Internet still has the capacity to surprise me with exactly how sad it can get. Look at the advert that appeared on my forum today:

Live in a 3D World
Full 3D, textures, sound. If you imagine it you can make it.

Well, I was intrigued, as one might reasonably expect. I was under the impression that I already lived in a 3D world, at least to a good approximation. So, with nary a thought for my own personal safety, I steeled myself and clicked it. The advert linked me to a page called Second Life, which seems to be some kind of online society. This is what the ‘about’ page has to say for itself:

Second Life is an expansive online society, lived in and built by its participants. Join a 3D world full of people, activity, and fun, where you and fellow residents can build a shared reality. You choose your own goals – travel and explore, claim and build on virtual land, make friends and socialize, or vie for status and wealth. Whatever you choose to do, your Second Life starts now.

I contest that anyone with a Second Life is not unlike a blind psychic — in that the latter has a sixth sense but no fifth.

Second Life, it appears, is a little more realistic than most of these games, often referred to as MMORPGs, or “stupid wastes of time”. Their picture galleries show shots of an in-game wedding, an online pet store selling virtual pets, a team photograph for some imaginary tournament (probably in a fictional sport), a small war, a funfair ride you can only ever watch, and — I swear — a billboard a player has erected to advertise his gallery. Here is my favourite Second Life picture:

“A private hot tub get together”
See if you can spot which player clicked a wrong button whilst signing up and can’t change it now.

To get a feel for the type of people who enjoy a Second Life, I had a look at some of the “featured residents”. Here is the first one I found:

Tracy Kato
In SL, I have a beautiful home on the water, backed by a lovely pine forest. In the evening I sit on my patio, watch the sunset and listen to crickets, as gentle winds blow through the trees.

She (if indeed she is a she) spends her evenings sitting on an imaginary porch, watching a computer generated sunset, and listening to prerecorded crickets. Okay, perhaps she’s not representative, though. Let’s see who’s next.

Bel Muse
The hot tub came out of those spontaneous collaborations that take place so easily in SL. As I was building the tub, a friend started scripting the bubble jets. And it came together great.

And you’ve seen the hot tub. Bel’s friend ought to go have a look at his bubble jet script. Clearly it doesn’t work. But the bigger point here is: blonde hair looks stupid on black people.

And people pay for this site. It sort of made sense when I thought perhaps it was free, but the very idea of paying a monthly fee to relinquish your social life and live in a computer seems just a touch on the wrong side of the famous genius-insanity border.