Apathy Sketchpad

Introducing today’s Special Feature: The Time Life Moron Collection! This unique collection — not available in the shops — combines some of the greatest performers in the world with fifteen discs of filler. To assemble this collection yourself would cost you over six hundred pounds, but the first disc can be yours for the uncomparable price of £6.37! You will then have the opportunity to be mailed a disc every month for what seems like the rest of your life — with no obligation to buy (if you fail to return any disc within three days, you will be charged £56.21).

Over the years, this collection will grow into one of the most expensive collections you have ever known. Also available are fifteen hundred near-identical collections from Time Life.

If you place your order for the Time Life Moron Collection now, you will recieve this worthless CD with three bonus tracks you probably won’t like free. If you buy with your credit card, you will recieve sleeve notes, free! If you order online, then you will recieve the wrong thing entirely — for your convenience, we haven’t got a website!

So act now! Order the Time Life Moron Collection now, for the initial price of only £6.37 plus VAT, plus P&P, plus B&B, plus BNP, plus BSc, and recieve a FREE bonus CD and FREE sleeve notes, by calling 0845 2162162 now! Never mind that you’re watching TV! Never mind that it’s peak time! Do it now!